If you said to the people around my hospital bed almost 9 years ago while I was on life support after having a stroke, that in 2014 I'd write my 99th blog, they would have said you were dreaming. But here it is...blog 99.
I haven't dwelled on the past a lot since the stroke - there've been too many things in front of me that needed 100% focus, so I didn't want to get distracted by looking backwards, but I've come a long way since dodging that bullet in 2005, so I think I've earned a little glance behind me.
My first memory when I opened my eyes after regaining consciousness following the stroke was of asking a mate to ring my Dad to pick me up from the pub where the Pennant Hills Demons had gone after AFL training for team selections, as I was seeing double and couldn't drive. That was a Thursday night, and I had the stroke hours later, but when I opened my eyes again it was a Monday, and all my family and friends had come to say goodbye over the 4 days I was unconscious. When I saw my little brother Lachlan's face, I knew this must be bad - Lach had been on a working holiday in Scotland and had been having a lovely time and he'd met a girl, but when someone told me doctors thought I was going to die, seeing Lach's face made sense.
Over the next few days, while my family took me for "walks" in my wheelchair, the reality of my situation started hitting home, I'd come within minutes of being killed after getting bashed in an alcohol fuelled gang attack and having a stroke, I couldn't walk - I couldn't even stand still - I didn't have a job, I had my drivers liscence revoked, I couldn't wash myself in the shower, and on top of all of that, I was a type 1 diabetic. This was big. I've always loved stories of people overcoming adversity, but it sounded hard - most of the stories talked about epiphanies, life changing decisions and mystical revelations, but I didn't have any of those, and it had me worried. I loved the life I was living before the stroke, and that's all I wanted back, just a good, decent, honest life, and the only way I knew how to do that was to give 100% effort into what was in front of me and not get distracted by the "big picture", but was that enough to get my life back? At times I thought "normality isn't strength. I should be aiming for something higher, something great." But I didn't want anything higher, I just wanted to be a decent man on the street, so I just worked as hard as I could on the task in front of me and kept moving forward.
This tactic worked well, as with the support of my family and friends, I went back to university to finish my journalism diplioma, I had my autobiography self-published, got my drivers liscence back, got a job at the ABC, went and filmed a documentary in Africa, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, then last year I made an AFL comeback for Pennant Hills and played my 100th game. I also went overseas to 2 seperate friend's weddings and I am writing my 99th blog - I'm just a normal bloke again, and it is enough, I love it.
I never had a life changing revelation, or found strength I never knew existed - I just kept on doing what I thought was right, and I am happier than I've ever been. I've got things coming up that I am excited about - I'm doing the Kokoda Track with some friends and possibly my girlfriend? And "Give it a Crack", an event I ran last year at the Thornleigh Community Centre has stepped up in the world and will be at the Sydney Comedy Store later this year. And speaking of my girlfriend, I am completely in love with her and I'm not ashamed to say it!
I relate anything with the term "100th" in it to the Pennant Hills Football club, so when I write my 100th blog, I'll be reading it to anybody who wants to get along to Mike Kenny Oval in Cherrybrook after Demons training on Thursday night, March 20th at around 7.30pm. The blog will be about what it has meant to me to be a Pennant Hills Demon, and won't be released publicly online until the day after the reading at Mike Kenny Oval.
So my little glance backwards is done, now I've got to get back to what's ahead...
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