Just be there.
As we sat in the waiting room waiting for Angela to be called, there were no pearls of wisdom or psychologically consoling conversations, the wait was as uneventful as a visit to the dentist. Ange's nephew played limbo under the line marking strap at the reception counter, then Ange taught him how to say "giddy-up" as she played horsie and the waiting room was filled with the laughter of a 2 year old.
Thanks largely to the sheer presence of her sister & nephew, when Ange's name was called she walked to the rooms calm, composed and supported. When the surgery was complete and we were called in to be with Angela in post-op recovery, she was feeling so well that she offered to play horsie with her nephew while she was still hooked up to an iv tube.
After the discharge briefing from the nurse, we left together like we had just been grocery shopping together - there were no raised emotions and no stress - it was actually quite a pleasant day. In what could have been a trying day, it turned out there was no "time of need" because Angela had her sister by her side.
So next time you feel helpless, or that you're not able to help your loved one because you don't know what to do, don't underestimate the value of just being there.
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